My current partner and I were sharing a very good level of of being together and trusting each other for about 18 months until last Aug. At that time I was using her computer and found rather explicit pictures of herself sent to her previous short term lover/possible partner of only 8 months duration. I became uncomfortable and decided maybe I needed to leave her house (we have a long distance relationship) Her response was that she did things sexually with this man that she had never done in her life and went into further explicit detail. I then found she was still in regular Facebook communication with this guy. She says if it hadn’t been for him she might not have known herself sexually due to the previous 17 year emotionally dead relationship she had been in. She now feels like I judge her and that she can’t be herself sexually with me. She has defriended past lover on FB. I have developed a real insecurity about my sexual relationship with her. Both love each other but there seems to be a decline in the energy level between us. Any suggestions? We all have a past but it is how we present them to our present partners.

Lets begin to untangle this together. Either you feel that you trust your current partner or you do not feel that you trust her. This is the first question that I encourage you to ask and answer yourself. Whatever has happened in the past is past and can only be useful if it supports you in your now. Your feelings of insecurity about your sexual relationship with your partner is clearly coming from your ego. When you step into your ego you must become disconnected from your connected state to do so. Kindly ask your ego to stand down and hook yourself back up to you. From your re- connected state If and when you are ready, tap into the feelings of love that you have for your partner and consider how you may sexually reignite and reinvigorate your relationship with her. What a wonderful way to move forward if that is what you are choosing to do.

If I attracted a bad situation into my experience and this is a reflection of where I am vibrationally then how do I get out of it?

I do not believe that there are any bad vibrations nor do I believe that there are any bad situations. What I do believe is that we come here with the purest of vibrations and along our way we experience contrast. Contrast is anything and everything that is not resonating with our inner being- inner knowing. It is only from this contrast that we can than identify preferences for ourselves from which we begin to launch our desires. Clarity is what directs us toward that which we are wanting for ourselves, our desires. I would like to direct you toward your clarity and ask you to put your full attention upon that without worrying at this time about how your vibration may have brought you to this moment. There is a time and place to identify and clean up vibrational residue. I have found that when we are choosing to focus upon where we are instead of where we would like to be, we as humans can get bogged down in the privacy of our minds, like forever. Move toward that which you now know feels like the improved version of your story, for you. This shift will facilitate you in creating and shaping your new vibration which is always a reflection of how you are feeling in your now.

Both of my parents are emotionally cut off from themselves. When I went off to college I found the emotional connection to myself. Over time I slowly learned to trust myself in most of my relationships until now. I am in a long term relationship with a guy who says all the right things and acts the part of being all into me but I cannot feel him. No, I can physically feel him and the sex part is great but its the other thing that I cannot feel. Do you think that this is all in my head and I am activating old stuff?

Thank you for sharing your question. This is such a beautiful example of what is possible for you when you use the contrast from your family of origin to launch your own very personal desires of wanting something different for yourself.  Over time you have slowly learned to trust yourself and there is no turning back now. Believe what you are feeling or in this case not feeling, to be accurate for yourself. What is possible is that you have attracted someone into your experience that feels familiar to you from your family of origin. May I suggest that you take a moment to clean up some vibrational residue that may be lingering. You can do this easily and quickly by going back momentarily revisiting an old situation and reframe it and create a new and better feeling story around it all. The new story is one that feels good when you tell it and it is a refection of you in your now. Your new story is all about trusting yourself because who would know better for you than you? No one!

I have done the unthinkable! We were drunk and I slept with my girlfriends fiance. OMG and WTF am I going to do? What kills me is that he will be having sex with other women and he is engaged to my soon to be x girlfriend. Do I warn her knowing that our friendship will be over or do I let her find out what a dog he is on her own?

Yikes! And I would like you to ask yourself this one simple question. Which feels better, to tell her or to not tell her? It matters not what the reasons are for making your choice. Your work is to get as comfortable as you can with either telling or not telling and then create alignment around your choice, pull the trigger and move along. No drama, no self loathing, no anything other than that. Because at the end of the day this is really more about you than it is about your girlfriend and her fiance. They will go on and do whatever they are going to do and you must find a way to make this right for yourself, with yourself.

I am a professional writer. I live my life through the characters that I construct for my stories. Lately it occurs to me that I am missing out on living my own life. What are your thoughts?

What an interesting question. I would like to think that the characters that you construct for your stories come from your own inner and outer sense of reality. This seems like a rich and rewarding way to step into your own life experience. If you can construct your characters as you like, then why not create a story that you would feel good to tell as well as live. Writing is a wonderful way for you to explore, manifest and express your every desire. What a beautiful opportunity you have through your profession to begin writing the story of your dreams as you step into your dreamlike real life experience and live it.

I am a stay at home mom with 2 small children and I am completely miserable in my marriage. I feel like a single parent because my husband wants nothing to do with me and the children. He financially provides for our family yet is not the least bit interested in interacting with us. He leaves early every morning and comes home late most evenings. On the weekends he buries himself in his computer or watches sports. He does not even bother to look up at me or the children when we are speaking to him or him to us. He makes me feel so insignificant. I did not sign up for this. I really miss having a partner. What should I do?

Well, first of all, in the most loving way I would like to tell you that no one can make you feel insignificant unless you allow them to. Second of all, often times men will understand their role as the sole provider for their family to be the most important way to be involved. It is very possible that your husband has no idea about how you are feeling about any of this. I believe that it may be time for the two of you to reconnect with each other and rekindle the feelings that originally brought you together. Perhaps getting a babysitter one night a week and making that date night for the two of you could be a wonderful opportunity for reconnecting as a couple. Allow the focus to be on one another as the bonding that you do as a couple, over time will naturally extend to your conversations about the ongoing opportunities to spend together with your children as a family. Breathe, believe and give your partner a chance to reenter the partnership that you are really missing.

 I have a sense about my wife’s infidelities and have not known what to do about them. My fear is that if I do admit this to myself then I will have to do something about it and I am not sure that I am emotionally strong enough to do anything. I feel like my life is hanging in the balance. Can you help me find my footing?

Yes, and I can see that you have already created some clarity around parts of this piece of your life, in this moment. First of all, you clearly know yourself well which is a real strength. You have acknowledged having ‘a sense’ which means that you are allowing yourself to use your intuition. Your fear is about knowing and having to take action. This is where I would like to assist you. You can know and you can, through your knowing make a decision not to take action. This decision is what will free you from our own uncertainty. Now use everything that you do know about yourself and when and if you feel ready, allow yourself to become curious about how you may want to approach this issue for yourself, about yourself. The clearer you become about you, the easier it will be to allow yourself to be guided toward any future action you will or will not take. It is never about the action and it is always about how we feel about the action.

Why do I keep attracting the wrong man? I let them in my life, then they throw mean and hurtful things in my face. And they use my honesty against me. My latest is harassing me with phone calls. He won’t stop even after he’s been warned by the police. Another, is with me only when its convenient for him.  Am I the one who’s disconnected or is it them? If its me how do I get connected, and start meeting the right one?

In the most loving way I would like to say and this goes for everyone, the life that you are living in this moment is a direct and most accurate reflection of your thoughts and feelings in this moment. That being said, I believe that this may be a glorious opportunity for you to address you and the relationship that you would like to have with yourself. Is it possible that this relationship with yourself is one that you have been sidestepping for a long time? The good news is that the answers to all of your concerns begin and end with the relationship that you are creating with yourself moment by moment. When you are feeling the most connected to yourself you will not just let men into your life experience, you will begin to invite men into your life experience. Set aside all that has been and all that currently is and focus exclusively on how you would like to be treated in a relationship with another and then begin treating yourself that way first and foremost. You will then and only then set the tone for every other relationship that you go on to have as you begin to attract others who clearly reflect back to you the love and light of your truly amazing, divine self.

I had a brief and what for me was an intimate encounter with a man at my EL stop last week. We locked eyes and I felt his energy travel through my entire body, and then he stepped onto his train and was gone. I have never felt anything like this before and am wondering, what was it?

I would like to say that you attracted and were open to receiving the energy of a man who is clearly connected to himself and vibrating at a very high frequency. How lovely for you. The beauty of this ‘intimate encounter’ is the feedback that it gives you about where and how you are vibrating and it appears to be at a high frequency as well. As you step into your own awareness about your own vibrational frequency you can tap into your senses and begin to feel the people around you. Our vibrational frequency is our first point of attraction to others, and others to us. Law of attraction sorts it out every single time. So I can only assume that you will be having many more of these vibrationally high exchanges with others. Enjoy!

My husband has been lying and cheating on me for god knows how long. How could I be so stupid to think that he could stay faithful to me with a job that takes him jet-setting around the globe? Now what?

There are many ways that you can begin to process your disheartening discovery. The question that you must ask yourself first is this. Would you like to focus upon the past, what has happened; the present, how you are feeling in this moment or your future? How you allow yourself to think about your current and most difficult situation will determine how you are going to feel throughout this process. Most often we have no control over our situation yet we always have control over how we are choosing from moment to moment to feel about our current situation.The other question that you may want to gently ask yourself is, who are you going to make this about? Is it going to be about your husband or yourself or your children if you have them?  All of your power is going to come from your ability to remain connected to yourself as you make moment to moment decisions about how you would like to feel as you navigate these choppy waters. I would like to suggest that you use this new contrast to create clarity for yourself. If you are going to loose yourself in anger, self pity or feelings of revenge, then choose them and own them instead of allowing yourself to be consumed by them. When you are ready, ask yourself the important questions and carefully listen to yourself for the answers. Trust yourself and be open to receiving the necessary information that will guide you back to your inner knowing, as this is where every answer lays, patiently awaiting your return.