The holidays are a really weird time for me. I have a lot of fun with my family but sometimes the dis-function is way to overwhelming. Most recently, during thanksgiving, I kept asking myself “who the fuck are these people?” How can I maintain a connection with my family (who I often feel totally at odds with) without losing the clarity and sanity that only came as a result of getting as far away from home as possible?
– Leeroy, Chicago
This is a great question! Let me begin by answering your first question “who the fuck are these people?” These people, your family, are what I most often refer to as your loving contrast. Contrast is every moment that we are experiencing or observing something that is differant from that which we are wanting for ourselves. Contrast is the very thing that provides us with a golden opportunity to gain our greatest sense of personal clarity. So actually going home for the holidays is one of the most wonderful and productive things that you can do for yourself to reaffirm your own personal preference for yourself. This process works like magic when you begin to understand that everyone in your family gets to be who they are and no one is going to change to make you feel more comfortable. From your new place of allowing ( no judgement of your family) you will then begin to relax back into your loving and very clear connection with yourself which will then allow you to easily reconnect with your family. In time you will be able to maintain your connection both with yourself and your family in the midst of all of the “dis-function”