Shocked And Ashamed

I am shocked.  I feel ashamed.  I am well known in a popular industry and stunned to find that my son, a “hunk” in another big medium, got fully unclothed and aroused on a well-watched show.  By all appearances there was no stand-in person.  I want nothing to do with my son, the show, and anyone who wants to interview me about it right now.  I don’t feel up to talking with my son either, as what I have to say about what is really his decision is not good.  How do I handle everything without losing my cool?

Clearly your “shock” and feelings of being “ashamed” about your sons decision has allowed you to momentarily disconnect yourself from yourself. The disconnection is apparent in that you are seeing yourself as a reflection of your son’s choice of which you do not approve of or agree with. On that note, when we allow ourselves to become a reflection of another’s choices or behaviors, we are doing ourselves an enormous disservice. It is not our place to control anothers behavior or choices in order to maintain how we feel about ourselves. However it is our place to remain true to ourselves, which would mean remaining connected to how we feel about ourselves, regardless of anothers choices and or behavior, even if it is our own family member. Take a deep breath, and soothe yourself back into your connection with yourself with the clear knowing that your son’s choices are not your choices and can only reflect upon you if you so choose to take that on for yourself.