Wished for and most welcome

My Parents Marital Issues

After I graduated from college last year I landed the most incredible job. My parents set me up in a very chic two bedroom apartment that they bought as an investment in Manhattan. At their insistence I pay almost nothing in rent and they come into the city now and then and spend the weekend with me. This arrangement has been ideal until last week. I received a frantic phone call from my mother. She has finally decided to leave my father after 27 years of ‘marital bliss’ and move in with me. My parents have always had an interesting relationship that with great regularity consisted of arguments about my fathers supposed indiscretions. I have been hearing these arguments my whole life and have chosen not to allow myself to listen to a word of them so I could maintain great relationships with both of my parents, and I have. How can I be supportive of my moms decision without becoming involved in my parents marital issues.

First of all I would like to commend you on your choice early on not to become involved in your parents marital issues.  This has indeed allowed you to develop and maintain  great relationships with both of them. Let your mom know how much you love her and that you respect whatever decision that she feels she needs to make for herself at this time. Then help her understand how much you cherish the relationships that you have cultivated with her and your father over the years, explaining that nothing is more important to you than that. Encourage her to look within for the answers to her own questions and to trust herself because who would know better for her than herself. Reassure her that you are there to emotionally support her without wanting to know and or understand the details that led up to her decision to move in with you. We can always be there for the people we love without ever needing to understand what has lead them up to the choices that they have made for themselves.

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