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Are Men Just Hardwired To Cheat?

Why do spouses have affairs. Are men just hardwired to cheat?

Men are hardwired for sex, sex and more sex. However men are not hardwired to cheat. I believe that when “spouses have affairs” it has more to do with a breakdown in communication with themselves first and then with their spouse or partner. Cheating of any kind is really a way of turning our back on ourselves. Once we become momentarily disconnected from ourselves there is a gap that we have created between who we are and where we are. I believe it is at these times that we tend to look outside of ourselves to close the gap by reaching out and looking for a fix of sorts. Something or someone who will distract us from the less than good feelings that we are experiencing within ourselves. An affair or indiscretion can be seen as one of those temporary fixes. The real problem with this is that more often than not, the spouse or partner who is acting upon this is spending a good deal of time feeling bad or guilty. So what is supposed to help them reconnect them with themselves is actually widening the gap. I often suggest to couples that they make an agreement early on in their relationship that addresses this issue before it happens. This is what I recommend: Make a mutual agreement with each other that you will address these feelings and desires as they come up with yourselves first and then feel secure enough in your relationship to bring it up with each other. An open honest and loving discussion. It is usually the discussion with one another that will reconnect you to yourself first and then to each other.

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