I started telling stories about my family in the second grade. It was then that I began to understand that my parents were different from the other kids parents. Both of my parents are alcoholics. I have spent my childhood, adolescents as well as a good portion of my adulthood trying to cover up this truth. I love both of them and at the same time I feel a lot of shame and resentment toward them. I have met the women that I am going to marry and she has a great family. She keeps asking me when she will be meeting my family. How much longer can I keep telling these lies about my family to myself and to the people in my life.
The greatest gift that you can continue to give to yourself is to hold onto the image in your mind and your heart of who you needed your parents to be then and how you would like them to become a part of your life today.These are not lies.These are stories that allow you to remain connected to yourself as you continue to love your parents and successfully move along in your own life. We cannot change who others are, even our own parents. Make peace in your own mind about what has been and focus upon the relationship that you would like to create with them now. You are calling the shots and it is you that has complete control over how much or how little you would like them to be a part of your adult, married life. Tap into this great family of your future wife (which you only could have attracted with your strong and clear desires) and allow these relationships to nurture and nourish you in every way possible.