Revenge Fantasies

What are your thoughts on revenge? – Anonymous

Revenge is a most interesting and very intense feeling that is often experienced in the form of a fantasy where we imagine, sometimes quite vividly, the targeted person or persons with the clear intent of doing harm to them as we firmly believe that they have intentionally done harm to us. Revenge is often referred to as the dark side of reciprocity.

That all being said, my experience with people is this: when we allow ourselves and or others to engage in such a fantasy it tends to play itself out or run its course in our mind and we often feel better –  or actually worse because then the guilt of having those revengeful thoughts catch up with us and we only end up feeling bad about ourselves. I often suggest to people to set some time aside and  give themselves permission to write down as many revengeful thoughts about the person or persons as desired. Then allow themselves to feel good about expressing these feelings to themselves.  Finally, either put these thoughts away for future reference or set fire to their fantasy and move along.