A United Front for the Kids?

My husband and I have very different ways of thinking about everything including how to parent our 9 and 11 year old children. We have long ago given up on creating a united front for them and have simply allowed our children to come to each of us individually based upon their needs to get what they want from both or just one of us. Although this has never been my ideal way of having a partnership with my husband or raising our children it all seems to be working because we do not fight or under-mind each others point of view in front of our children. My question is are we really doing what is in the best interest of our children or is my husband and I avoiding a crucial issue with each other to keep the peace between us? – In a web of perplexity

Your children are so lucky to have the opportunity to grow up in a home environment  where their parents are keeping it real. How ever the two of you have managed to understand each others differences is giving your children such a wonderful message about allowing. Allowing is very different than tolerating.When you tolerate, you are “putting up” with another’s differences. To allow is to embrace another’s point of view or decision without having to take their choice on. Your children are learning the beauty of having two parents with two very different points of view and are clear about it instead of being confused by it because they do not see their parents at odds with each other over these differences. You have also most brilliantly given them time to consider their own desires and needs looking inward first and then based upon that inner reflection, choosing which parent would be most helpful in assisting them. Bravo, Bravo Bravo!!!!