Abundantly Clear

I have been intimately involved with a married man for 3 years. His wife has MS and from the beginning of our sexual relationship he made his position abundantly clear to me. He loves her and will never leave her. I went into this relationship with my eyes wide open but I believe that I can have more with this man that I have developed deep feelings for. What is wrong with me that I am not able to hear what he is saying to me and either accept it or end it?

From what I understand about your current situation, you are involved with a married man who is clear that he loves his wife and will not be leaving her. You have developed deep feelings for him and believe that you can have more. First of all, there is nothing wrong with you. Your deep feelings have quite naturally developed as a result of the intimacy that you have consciously chosen to share with him. You may want to identify for yourself what the “more” would be. Is it more time spent with him or do you believe that he will change his mind and reconsider his marital situation? May I be so bold and say that it has been my personal and professional observation that married men do not leave their spouses. This being said, the real question that you may want to explore is, do you forever want to be the other women. This is a question that you appear to be avoiding asking yourself and listening for the answer. This has more to do with your own relationship with your self and what is being clearly reflected back to you by your current situation. I would love to see you use your current situation with its abundant clarity as a way for you to tune in and begin hearing yourself. Once you begin to ask yourself the questions, be open, as the answers will come quickly and clearly to you, for you and about you.