When my wife and I married we agreed to take two subjects off of the table politics and religion. This has worked well for us up until these past few months. We abandoned our agreement and now both of these subjects are putting considerable distance between us in our marriage. How can I stop reacting to her very different points of view and get back to my relationship with my wife?
When we are reacting to something or someone we most often experience a feeling of resistance in our body. The idea that we have released some emotion through our strong expression is an illusion. What we have actually created for ourselves is an opportunity to hold onto something that does not please us. Our ego has stepped in and we somehow feel that in order to be right, we must make another wrong. I would like to suggest to you that with any subject you consider the option of responding instead of reacting. When we respond to something or someone we are expressing our self in such a way that we are releasing our thoughts and feelings without the emotional investment of another s understanding or agreement. It is saying, “lets agree to disagree” as we hear one another and respect each others points of view. When we are connected to ourselves and clear about what is true for us individually our clarity softens us and we feel good about allowing others to hold what is true for themselves. Your choice to respond instead of react can facilitate all kinds of wonderful conversations without taking any topic off of the table as you get back to your relationship with your wife.