What Takes Us So Long

When I met my boyfriend I believed that he was perfect. Everything he did, everything he did not do, it seemed perfect to me. Now he has changed and all I see is how un-perfect he is. What takes us so long to really see the person for who they are?

Your question is very interesting. I believe that when we attract a partner or anyone for that matter into our experience, the basis of the attraction is based upon how we are feeling about ourselves. So, that being said what I believe has occurred is that you were feeling quite good about yourself and connected when you attracted your “perfect” boyfriend into your experience; and, I do not for one- second believe that he has changed. What I would like to suggest to you that has happened is that you have somehow become disconnected from yourself and you are now feeling less than perfect. You perhaps have unconsciously shifted your focus from your own feelings of imperfection and are now, once again unconsciously, projecting them onto him. This can happen very easily in our interpersonal relationships when we are not choosing to consciously manage our own relationship with ourselves. Regain your loving connected relationship with yourself and you will have your “perfect’ boyfriend back into your experience in no time.