Wanting Verification

My sister is one of those people who looks on the bright side of every situation. I really appreciated that about her when we were growing up. The problem is that now I cannot get her to admit to having had the same horribly dysfunctional childhood that I know for a fact that we both had.  We grew up in the same house for heavens sakes and our parents are dead so it is not like they can hear us. I just want some verification that what really happened, really happened. Do you have any suggestions for how I can get my sister to give it up?

Your question fills me with hope. I am thrilled beyond to hear that two people can grow up in the same “horribly dysfunctional” household and choose to remember very different things. Your sister clearly makes an ongoing choice for herself that supports her own life in her now. I can only encourage you to respect her choice. May I suggest that you trust yourself that what you are choosing to remember is completely accurate for you. If these memories are going to serve you in your own life now, than by all means go there as often as possible. If however your accurate memories are going to keep you from your living your life in your now than may I suggest something else. Take a piece of paper and write down every memory in vivd detail. Relive your entire childhood experience, if it gives you satisfaction to do so and then take a match and let it go up in flames. This is your life now and you can live it anyway that feels good to you. It is all choice, your choice.