I AM 18

I am 18.  I am a pretty happy person and I live in a pretty unhappy home.  I do not know what to do.  My parents will not allow me to move out until I turn 21, they just told me.  When I ask other people what to do until then, I always get “go see a therapist,” “get medications,” or “go in the hospital” again, all the things my parents make me do since 9 years ago.  Or, “wait” until I turn 21, “don’t wait,” and all that.  My parents think I have an eating disorder.  I have been told this and many other things by different treaters and I have no problems with food.  I happen to be skinny.  My sports probably contribute.  I have done well in school, with only A’s.  Both areas make me feel good.
I have friends, too, though my parents rarely let me have them over or see them much.  They say no to most after school activities that I want to do, including the ones I just started at college.  They will not allow me on Facebook or texts after dinner, even though my homework is done. My parents should probably not be married.  I listen to them fight a lot.  And how miserable my Mom is, and likely my Dad.  My Mom works late and brings papers home on nights and weekends.  My Dad has a degree and has been looking for a job since he lost his 3 years ago.  When I tell them what I see, they make me stay in the house.
They say I am crazy, going crazy again.  And that they will have me see a new treater or check me in the hospital again, and put me on meds.  My Mom nags and criticizes me, saying really, really mean things that I know just are not right.  It is like they need to have badness done to me to keep them together. I have learned a lot of stuff since 9 from my therapists, psychiatrists, and hospitals so please do not give me more.  Just tell me what to do, because I feel being at home for 3 more years will be horrible.

The way that I see it is this: You are a “pretty happy person” who sees themselves having “no problems with food” You are an A student that is involved in sports and has a nice social life  and you are an 18 year old young adult living in your parents home that you feel is negative and unhappy. What I would do if I were you is this: I would focus all of my attention upon myself with the clear knowing that I am bright, beautiful, popular, athletic, and am experiencing alot of contrast living in my parents home. Do not spend one moment of your time on anything that is happening in your household that does not feel good to you.
Only – and I mean only – practice (and it will take practice) giving your attention to only that which feels good to you and makes you happy. You cannot change who your parents are any more than they can change who you are, so stop trying. Begin by picking one thing about each of your parents that inspire you and makes you smile and feel good . Start with something simple and when you think about them, only think about that one positive thing. This will help you shift your focus from an internal running commentary about each of them to a condensed good thought /feeling of appreciation. You will feel better; because you now have a positive, clear way of quickly thinking about them if you are going to think about them at all. Live your life and stop using them (your parents) as your excuse for why and when you occasionally  choose to cut yourself off from your connection and happiness with yourself.