Totally Devastated

I caught my wife cheating on me last Valentine’s Day and we are now divorced. I threw myself into my job and thought that I had put it all behind me. As the February 14th holiday approaches I am obsessed with the details of that day that I found them together. I cannot stop myself from reliving the total devastation that I felt that day almost one year ago and it’s tearing me apart. How can I move on?

This must have been very difficult for you. Choosing to throw yourself into your job allowed you to distract yourself from the “total devastation” that you felt then and are reliving now. One of the ways to “move on” would be for you to make the conscious choice to regain your focus and get back to yourself. You may want to begin identifying for yourself what you would like to create for yourself as you move forward and how you would like to feel as you do so. There are only two things that any of us have absolute control over. The first is what we are choosing to focus our thoughts and attention upon and the second thing is how we are choosing to feel about the things that we are choosing to focus upon. Moving on means taking your own life back and making the commitment to yourself that you will direct your thoughts and feelings toward only that which will assist you in moving forward and recreating your life. You may experience moments where you become tempted to look back and when and if you do, simply ask yourself how looking back will assist you in moving forward. It matters far less what you choose to do after you ask yourself this question because at least you will know that your actions are chosen by you and you are no longer a victim to any circumstance or memories of one. There is great power and freedom in choosing for ourselves as we move along and down the road you will be on your way with an open and loving heart, once again.