He Wants Me To Find A Lover

My husband has not been interested in sex since he lost his job 14 months ago. He begs me to go on one of those dating sites for married people and find a lover. He is consumed with guilt about neglecting the emotional and physical aspect of our marriage and he says that it is killing him. Do you think that he just doesn’t love me anymore?

I believe that your husband does love you and he is consumed with guilt for not being available to meet your sexual and emotional needs in your marriage at this time. I also believe that his own deep feelings of inadequacy are driving your husband to make this request that you find a sexual replacement for him. It seems as though there needs to be a better understanding between the two of you as to what the real issues are at this time, in your marriage. This seems like a wonderful opportunity for the two of you to begin an open and loving dialogue with one another regarding your feelings about yourselves first and foremost and then how these feelings may be effecting your marital relationship.