My 16 year old daughter has been interested in boys since the young age of 13. Since this time she has either been crushing on boys or dating boys. She has repeatedly told me not to worry because she knows what she is doing. I have believed this to be true until last week. I came home early from work and to my great surprise discovered my daughter having sex in her bedroom with her latest boyfriend. I completely freaked out. What could I have been thinking to trust her and believe that she knows what she is doing. She is only 16. I feel like a total failure as her mother. What was I thinking?
Please help me understand something. Did you misinterpret your daughter knowing what she is doing with what you would do? I believe that your daughter knows exactly what she is doing and she has no problem with it what so ever. The difficulty that you are having is that she is doing something that you yourself would not have her do. Having sex at her age is unacceptable to you, yet appears to be completely acceptable to your daughter. The real issue here is that up until now you have made an assumption about your daughter that has more to do with you than it does to do with her. If I were you after you are done freaking out, I would begin an open honest loving conversation with your daughter regarding her personal views about sex for herself. This is where you will begin to understand your daughter and realize that she does actually know what she is doing. Allow this conversation to be the first of many and the beginning of your wonderful mother and daughter relationship.