Highlights
I am really good at having online relationships with men and not so good when it comes to having the real thing. I can hide my slightly overweight body and less than perfect skin and feel really confident from my laptop but, I completely lose my sense of confidence when I am interacting with them in person. How can I maintain my good feelings about myself when I show up offline?
This is about the relationship that you are having with yourself and it seems really good. What I am wondering, is it possible that you really like yourself yet you are overly concerned about how others will perceive and receive you? If this is the case then I would like to share a little secret with you. How we feel about ourselves is how we are perceived and received by others. That being said, my suggestion to you is that you take your good feeling self offline, head out the door and march your fabulousness into the “real thing.”
Jun 13, 2012 | Categories: Consciousness, Dating, Help I Am Stuck, Highlights, Love and Relationships, Psychologically Speaking, Vibrationally Speaking | Tags: Allowing, communication, Connection, Energy, Loving, Self-love, Trusting, truth, vibration | Leave A Comment »
I always thought that whatever problems we had, my wife and I would work them out. Our eight years of marriage has been a roller coaster ride of the biggest highs and the lowest lows. We fight and then make up. This has been our life. She suddenly wants a divorce but I do not understand why. Nothing is different today than it was last week. I do not even know where to begin in making sense of her behavior. Can you help me?
Perhaps she is ready to step off the “roller coaster ride” that you have called your life together for the past 8 years. This must be difficult for you and yet it appears to be an opportunity. Often times the partner that has made a different choice for themselves allows the other partner to reconsider the patterns that have been created in the relationship. I have always believed that in any relationship, someone must make the first move in order for the door for change to open. This could be a perfect time for you to begin considering what has worked and what has not worked for you in your 8 years of marriage. May I suggest that the dialog begin with you, about you, before you consider having this conversation with your partner. In essence she has given you the gift of redirecting yourself back to you; which will allow you to sift through the contrast. Focus upon you and how you have used your relationship as your greatest excuse to either remain connected or disconnected from yourself. I know that it is almost impossible for you to believe in this moment, however the opportunity that you have now is so much more about you and your relationship with yourself than it is about your impending divorce. Sometimes a problem is a wonderful and most unexpected life changing opportunity and this could be yours.
Jun 11, 2012 | Categories: Consciousness, Help I Am Stuck, Highlights, Love and Relationships, Psychologically Speaking, Vibrationally Speaking | Tags: Allowing, communication, Connection, Loving, Self-love, Trusting, truth | Leave A Comment »
We just had our first child. I have been thinking about how I was raised with so much disapproval by both of my parents as their way of controlling me. I would like my husband and I to do things completely different. Ideally I would like to never use the word NO with our son. Do you have any suggestions how we can go about this?
Yes, I do and the beauty of having your own child is that you can now decide how you would like to raise him. I have always conveyed to my children that a parents greatest wish for their children is that they go on to do everything better. Here is your chance. These are my suggestions for not saying NO, to your child ever. When you observe your child doing something that you believe is dangerous or harmful and you are wanting his attention simply call his name and distract him from what he is doing. All you are doing is creating a necessary distraction without saying NO. When he becomes a toddler and you are wanting him to become aware of his actions simply call his name and ask him what he is doing, not in a reprimanding way but with loving curiosity. This question allows your child to stop momentarily and consider what he is doing. You are now coaching your child to look inward instead of outside of himself for approval and you have not used the word NO. If your child is wanting to do something that is not acceptable to you then simply in the most loving way suggest that he do something else instead. Our tone never needs to be disapproving and we can always ask our children at any age what they are doing and how they are feeling about what they are doing without ever using the word NO. Your child will discover this word as he is identifying all kinds of preferences for himself but the word NO will only be a way of communicating a desire and will not hold any feelings of disapproval. This is a wonderful way to consciously raise your child by coaching him inward as he maintains his magnificent loving connection with himself and with all others.
Jun 08, 2012 | Categories: Consciousness, Family Relationships, Highlights, Hypothetically Speaking, Psychologically Speaking, Uncategorized, Vibrationally Speaking | Tags: Allowing, communication, Connection, Energy, Loving, Parenting, Trusting, vibration | Leave A Comment »
I knew one year into my 18 month long relationship that things were unraveling. I finally had the good sense to pack up my things and leave, physically that is. I say this because I cannot stop myself from thinking and rethinking about every detail of the last six months of being together with this man. It is the ongoing miscommunication and abject disrespectful ways in which I felt treated by him that I am obsessing about. Is there no end in sight?
There is actually a wonderful new beginning in sight for you if you will allow yourself to shift your gaze and close the gap between you and you. Out of this 18 month long relationship I assume that an entire year or 12 months of it was for the most part good. If this is so then the real question becomes, why are you choosing to focus your attention upon the last six months when things began to unravel? I believe that the inner conflict that you are having is with yourself and not with the man that you have been in this relationship with. Let me explain. Six months ago you came to identify for yourself that things were unraveling and you say that it took you up until now to physically move out. During this period of time you must have been feeling the gap or distance between you and you. This is where the miscommunication and disrespectful feelings came from, not from this man. You turned your back away from yourself. You have physically left this relationship and you have taken your disconnected self along with you. You see, it matters not whether we stay or go; however what does matter is how we are feeling about ourselves. If you will make the choice to shift your gaze back to the beginnings of the relationship where you were connected to yourself and communicating with yourself and were feeling a sense of respect for yourself and allow yourself to hook yourself back up with your inner being then yes you will have closed the gap between you and you and the wonderful new beginning begins.
Jun 07, 2012 | Categories: Consciousness, Help I Am Stuck, Highlights, Love and Relationships, Psychologically Speaking, Should I Stay Or Should I Go, Vibrationally Speaking | Tags: Allowing, communication, Connection, Energy, Loving, Self-love, Trusting, truth, vibration | Leave A Comment »
I am looking for a loving, spiritually connected, financially abundant, handsome, and all around great man to spend my life with. All of my married and unmarried friends say ‘good luck with that.’ I refuse to go to that place they all call the ‘real world’ of relationships. I want to attract this man into my experience without settling for less. Is this realistic?
Yes! You have already laid the groundwork for this very clear vision of the “great man” that you are wanting to spend your life with. You have done so by experiencing all of the contrast that you have lived in the real world of relationships already, and from this you have identified your new and very clear desires. What I would like to suggest to you is that you create a profile for yourself as to exactly what you are looking for in a relationship. I would then pick a few online dating sites and post your profile. Your profile will be about what you are looking for as it will NOT be about who you are. Then wait and see whom you attract. This will be important information for you because who you do attract from these online sites will assist you in understanding if you are in vibrational alignment with your clear desires. This information is invaluable to you. Initially you may attract a man who has one or more of these qualities but not others. What this means is that you may have some work to do in coming into alignment ( thoughts and feelings as one) around some of the other desires that you have identified. Keep throwing your pole out there as you create the vibrational alignment that will support the relationship of your dreams.
Jun 04, 2012 | Categories: Consciousness, Dating, Highlights, Love and Relationships, Psychologically Speaking, Spiritually Speaking, Vibrationally Speaking | Tags: Allowing, communication, Connection, Energy, Self-love, Trusting, truth, vibration | Leave A Comment »
I feel anxious all the time. I cannot attribute these troublesome feelings to anything specific however these feelings are very familiar to me and I am sick and tired of living like this. I know that medication is available for what is called Generalized Anxiety Disorder which is probably my clinical diagnosis but I do not want to become dependent on medicine. I don’t even take aspirin. Anyway, how would you suggest that I go about controlling these anxious feelings?
Anxiety comes from our underlying feelings of uneasiness of the mind that is usually caused by fear (rational or otherwise) and translates into feelings of apprehension that in turn creates psychic tension within ourselves. It is entirely possible that these oh so familiar feelings of anxiety have nothing to do with you and are simply vibrations that you have picked up along the way from your family of origin. The beauty of this is that you have identified, for yourself, that you are “sick and tired of living like this” and this very clear statement comes from a strong desire that you now have access to. Our greatest desires are most often launched from the contrast that we have been living. Now comes the fun stuff. You, yes you in your now, have the power to identify when and if you are feeling anxious and if you cannot clearly attribute these feelings to anything that is happening in your conscious mind then you may give yourself permission to assume that it is not yours to have and to hold. Even if you cannot identify whose it is, it is not yours. Move beyond the familiar and begin to tap into what you are thinking and feeling in this and every moment. Soothe yourself back into connection with yourself and allow yourself to be guided by your own vibrational well-being.
Jun 02, 2012 | Categories: Consciousness, Family Relationships, Help I Am Stuck, Highlights, Hypothetically Speaking, Psychologically Speaking, Vibrationally Speaking | Tags: Allowing, communication, Connection, Self-love, Trusting, truth | Leave A Comment »
